FIGHTING FANTASY





Who remembers FIGHTING FANTASY books, they were good because they were quite thick, but you could finish them in about an hour so it sort of made you look intelligent in front of girls. My favourite's were Citadel of Chaos, Freeway Fighter, Phantoms of Fear, Slaves of The Abyss, Appointment with F.E.A.R. and The Rings of Kether.

THE IT CROWD

LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE PT.1

PARTS 2 / 3
I seem to be the only person that likes THE IT CROWD, what's wrong with it, it's written by GRAHAM LINEHAN (Father Ted, Big Train & Black Books) who's probably one of the best comedy writers over the past 10 years, it has aload of comedians from The Mighty Boosh (even though I'm not actually much of a fan of The Mighty Boosh, although I do like Matt Berry alot) and Chris Morris is in it. My theory people don't like it is because it's just an old fashioned comedy with studio laughter on top that doesn't try to be clever or different, it's just brilliantly written and the only comedy I bother watching at the moment, it's alot better than the last season of South Park.

ALBUTEROL MIX


Italians Do It Better's Mike Simonetti has made a really nice little mix tape on his blog, have a listen, some really good stuff on it including KISS/Ace Frehley's brilliant cover of Hello's NEW YORK GROOVE, some Pink Project and a great song by Hot Chocolate who I've never really given the time of day probably because they remind me of the film The Full Monty.

ALBUTEROL MIX

DARK SIDE OF THE RAINBOW


Here is DARK SIDE OF THE RAINBOW which combines the music from Pink Floyd's Dark Side of The Moon with the film The Wizard of Oz, which results in many scenes where the music and film sync perfectly. It's not known who or how the combination was made and although most of it doesn't really fit at all it's still quite fun to watch. When I first watched this on a DVD, it also had Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here mixed with that really shit Jodie Foster film Contact, who the fuck even bothered to see if they would work together!

POCKET BABY




BULLET PROOF GLASS


What's the best way to test if glass is bullet proof, that's right, hold it in front of your face and get someone to shot at it with a rifle.

CHINA'S ENGRISH-SPEAKING CONTEST


Forget Britain's Got Talent, X-Factor, and America's Next Top Model. The ONLY TV talent show worth watching is China's English Speaking Contest. I'm totally hooked! Thousands of young people enter the competition to find the most fluent orator in the land. My favourite bit is when the contestants come on stage, introduce themselves, and recite an inspirational quote or a statement (see above).

The undisputed star so far is Shi Yupeng. He's the camp guy who comes on at 1:45 and overuses overblown gesticulation and hyperbole (watch his speech here). It all gets pretty emotive, especially in the debate part of the contest. Last year's winner, Wang Liansi, stole the show by calling her opponents "bananas" - not as in "crazy" but as in "yellow on the outside, white on the inside" - displaying a knowledge of racial slurs beyond that of even native English speakers.

SPOOKY



PETE DRAKE FOREVER


As well as inventing the "talking steel guitar", Pete Drake was one of the most sought-after session musicians of the 1960s and played on Bob Dylan's "Lay Lady Lay" and Tammy Wynette's "Stand By Your Man".
His headstone is inscribed "For Pete's Sake."

SICKBOY'S UNIFIED THEORY OF LIFE


My brother goes on about Sickboy's theory everyday usually because I keep going on about how crap everything is, and he's right, it's totally true. Try it.

TOP 10 DEATH ROW MEALS

10. Double meat cheeseburgers, double order of french fries, Dr. Pepper and a pint of banana nut ice cream - Johnny James

9. Ribs smothered in onions and gravy, rice with butter, ice water and Dr. Pepper. - Charlie Livingston

8. None. Last minute he decided to eat a hamburger at his Mother’s request. - Delbert Teague, Jr.

7. Chicken fried steak with white gravy, french fries with white gravy, lots of salt and pepper, and sweet ice tea. Ricky McGinn

6. 3 beef enchiladas with onions, 3 cheese enchiladas with onions, Spanish rice, bowl of jalapenos, french fries, cheeseburger all the way, bowl of mayonnaise, bowl of ketchup, bowl of pico de gallo, 3 Dr. Peppers, pitcher of ice, banana split ice cream, and 4 quesadillas. - Miguel Flores

5. Chocolate birthday cake with “2/23/90″ written on top, seven pink candles, one coconut, kiwi fruit juice, pineapple juice, one mango, grapes, lettuce, cottage cheese, peaches, one banana, one delicious apple, chef salad without meat and with thousand island dressing, fruit salad, cheese, and tomato slices. - Miguel Richardson

4. 12 pieces of chicken (thighs and drumsticks), 2 double-meat cheeseburgers on toasted buns, 1 large place of brown french fries with ketchup, 2 large onions (cut in slices), 2 large tomatoes (cut in slices), 6 sweet pickles, salad dressing, 5 sliced jalapeno peppers, peach cobbler with extra crust, and milk. - Vincent Cooks

3. Two chili cheese dogs, two cheeseburgers, two orders of onion rings with French dressing, turkey salad with French fries, chocolate cake, apple pie, butter pecan ice cream, egg rolls, one peach, three Dr. Peppers, jalapeno peppers, ketchup, and mayonnaise. - Williams Richard

2. Twelve beef ribs, three enchiladas, chicken fried steak with cream gravy, crisp bacon sandwich, ketchup, a loaf of bread, cobbler, three Cokes, three root beer, French fries, and onion rings. - Crawford Hilton

1. French fries, five pieces of fried chicken, and three Dr. Peppers - Tony Walker

I think I'd have Steak Tartare, 1 piece of Fried Chicken (Thigh), 4 pieces of Tuna Sashimi, 1 Piece of Gyoza, Unagi, a thick juicy slice of roast lamb with mint sauce and a fork filled with abit of Sausage, Bacon, Hash Brown & Baked Beans, oh and a Balut if I haven't had one by then.

LINK

THE BRUCE LEE PING-PONG FIGHT STINKS (UNFORTUNATELY)

When you first see Bruce Lee playing ping-pong with nunchucks it's exhilarating and you're all like "This shit is ridonkulous! If he hadn't died so long ago, I'd think this was CGI." But at the end of the clip you see a link to a Chinese mobile phone site and you reluctantly realise it's a fake corporate viral and you feel like a gullible sucka. Damn you Nokia. Damn. Youuuu.


THE DEMIS ROUSSOS MAGIC


DEMIS ROUSSOS - THE DEMIS ROUSSOS MAGIC

Incredible album from former APHRODITE'S CHILD singer DEMIS ROUSSOS, which has a couple songs that have also been released by fellow Greek big man Vangelis on his equally amazing album, Earth (although different versions) which I'll probably upload some time in the near future. But in the meantime enjoy this great album and check out his costumes on YOUTUBE, they're pretty awesome too (I really need to improve my vocabulary).

COCKSUCKER BLUES

PART 1

PARTS 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

Robert Frank's documentary COCKSUCKER BLUES which followed The Rolling Stones' tour of their greatest album Exile On Main Street, which still to this day has never been released because of disagreements between Frank and the band, although I'm sure I read somewhere once that public views of the documentary are allowed, but only in the presence of Robert Frank.

(SI, SI) JE SUIS UN ROCK STAR


Fuck Mick and Keef, this song is amazing, you'd think Bill Wyman is French listening to the way those French words just roll of his tongue so elegantly.

NEED A GOOD LAWYER?




FORCED TO EAT SHIT AND DIE


Poor people in Haiti are having to eat mud due to rising food costs. Gross cookies made from clay, butter and salt are consumed in order to quell painful hunger pangs and provide much needed minerals. However, they also contain animal faeces, tapeworm, parasites, and toxins that will probably kill you - not to mention the fact that they taste like shit. Known as "terre" (earth), the biscuits are dirt-cheap and often the only food affordable to the 80% of people in Haiti live on less than 50p a day. But the rising cost of clay means that even these are now proving too expensive. Meanwhile, nearby countries like the US and Brazil are burning stockpiles of wheat, maize, sugar cane and other food crops in order to make ethanol biofuels.

BEST THROW-IN EVER



BALEARIC


Found this nice list of someone's TOP 11 BALEARIC TUNES FROM THE 80'S which are all downloadable, some very well known stuff like Kate Bush's Running Up That Hill and Carly Simon's Why as well as some classic Balearic stuff like Flash & The Pan's Midnight Man, although it is missing my current favourite Balearic track, Hoomba Hoomba by Pili Pili which has the best piano section, so here it is.

PILI PILI - HOOMBA HOOMBA (12" VERSION)

FISHING FOR BANKERS

Our buddy Heydon went to the city armed with a fishing pole and a fiver in order to catch some bankers.


UNFAIR FIGHT


Boxing monster Nikolai Valuev is 100 pounds heavier, over a foot taller, and eleven years younger than former champ Evander Holyfield, but they are going to duke it out next month.
Maybe the child-support payments to Evander's 11 kids have left him strapped for cash. Or maybe all those blows to the head have left bro a little brain-damaged.



PIRATES RULE THE WAVES

How the fuck do dudes in flip-flops, dinky boats and a couple of rusty rifles manage to hijack a $1 billion supertanker that's three times the size of an aircraft carrier?

This happened despite the fact that these waters are patrolled by an anti-piracy taskforce made up of modern NATO warships. What the fuck is going on? Hollywood leads us to believe that western intelligence agencies like the CIA can track our every move from spy satellites, but they can't even find a massive supertanker? So far this year the anti-pirate taskforce has failed to prevent pirate gangs from seizing ships carrying dangerous chemicals, battle tanks and heavy weaponry, bagging themselves over $100 million in ransom money. Most of the hijacked ships are taken to the port of Ely, a notorious pirate lair on the Somali coast. I'd love to go there and hang out with these ballsy motherfuckers. However, it's pretty dangerous - the last photographer who went there had to be accompanied by a 15-man militia for protection.

WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE


Director Spike Jonze has finally broken his silence about his much-anticipated adaptation of Where The Wild Things Are, my favourite book as a kid. It's was rumoured that Warner Bros., having spent $75 million on it, thought the film was too scary for kids and ordered re-shoots. But in a recent interview Spike confirmed that filming has finished and the movie is in post-production, with a slated release date of October 2009. He talks at length about how they really tried to capture a certain mood on screen, and on it's Karen O-scored soundtrack, which makes me hopeful that it'll do justice to the book.

"From the beginning, I wanted it to feel a certain way. I wanted it to feel like... like when I was a kid, and I would play with my Star Wars action figures, or read Maurice's books and imagine me being Mickey in IN THE NIGHT KITCHEN, or whatever it was... it felt like it was everything, you know? It's like your imagination is so convincing to yourself that... you're there, you're in it. And I wanted this movie to take it as seriously as kids take their imagination and not, like, fantasy it up. So I think it just started from that feeling, that it could feel like you were there with them, like Max was there with them, and not just in some fantasy movie."
I really hope they don't fuck it up.



LUCIFER RISING SOUNDTRACK(S)


BOBBY BEAUSOLEIL - LUCIFER RISING


JIMMY PAGE - LUCIFER RISING


LUCIFER RISING is a pretty awesome short film, but what really makes it is the soundtrack, a beautiful, eerie score by Manson Family member Bobby Beausoleil who was asked by Kenneth Anger to make the score while in prison for the murder of Gary Hinman after Anger had fallen out with Jimmy Page who had originally been asked to make the score for the film, which he did completely under the influence of LSD.

POGO THE CLOWN






JOHN WAYNE GACY

KICK TO KILL PHOTOBLOG


Kick To Kill now have a photoblog. SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET.

LET IT BE (DOCUMENTARY)


Here is The Beatles long out of print documentary, LET IT BE from 1970. The documentary was supposed to show the band making the album Let It Be resulting in a live concert, although the film actually ends up showing the tension and clash of egos between the band which led to their split not long after. My brother had this on VHS when I was a kid, but I didn't watch it that much because it's so depressing, George gets electrocuted by a microphone as well which isn't nice but everyone should watch it because it's The Beatles, and The Beatles are the greatest thing ever.

RAVI TEACHES GEORGE


George is beautiful isn't he.

HOW TO MAKE ENTRANCE

You're walking down the street, minding your own business, when you trip and fall and you're all embarrassed and you look around to see if anyone was watching. How about you're a boxer entering the 02 Arena, trying to be a tough guy in front of 20,000 people before the biggest fight of your life. As your intro music starts pumping, you run in and try to vault the ropes, but unfortunately you clip them and tumble into the ring ass over tit? That's what happened to Monte Barrett, 37, shortly before his recent bout with David Haye. Barrett hit the canvas a further five times that night (not of his own volition) before finally being KO'd in the 5th.


HEAVY PETTING

Buddy here blacked out after boozing too much. Probably best that he doesn't remember what happened when he got home, passed out on the couch, and man's best friend got a little too familiar. Maybe his kebab breath made the pooch insatiable.


ALL THINGS SST



THE BLASTING CONCEPT is a great blog that just uploads albums and other stuff related solely to one of the most important American Punk Record Labels SST, I was trying to find the Nig-Heist album, but then I realised I don't think it was actually released on SST, so here is an equally great record that was released by SST, THE SEVEN INCH WONDERS OF THE WORLD, which is a compilation of every single SST 7" released up until 1986.

THE MUMPS



Jewish Pete the American Jew AKA Pete McDonald AKA Pete USA AKA Graffiti Island Pete has sadly decided to leave us here at Voodoo Village to start his own Blog where I'm sure he will be uploading lots of UFO stuff, his nice drawings and the organic food he likes wasting money on while in Brick Lane. Have a look and say hello, also check out the latest issue of Dazed, where Pete's band GRAFFITI ISLAND have a sexy interview.

THE MUMPS

HUNGRY





WEAR A SEATBELT



FUGLY KOREAN IS KERAZY HOT


Yeah, she had a bit of chin on her, but still, Hang Mioku wasn't hideous. Far from it. But then she got hooked on plastic surgery and, following a series of botched operations, transformed herself into a muppet-like monster. While her visage scared the crap out of everyone else, when Hang looked into the mirror she saw a totally SHHMOKIN' BABE. Doctors told her she was crazy and refused to carry out any more work on her. So she started injecting silicon into her face. And when the silicon ran out she took to injecting cooking oil. After appearing on Korean TV, a shocked public joined together to raise money to help her fugly ass out. Surgeons managed to remove 260 grams of foreign substance from Hang's mug...

OH BABY!









BLAST FROM THE PAST: FRUIT COCKTAIL & JOSH HOMME


True story that happened exactly ten years ago this week.


My friends Danalog (then 19) Jamie-James Medina (then 15) and Zain (also 15) were in a band called Fruit Cocktail. They practised in the attic of their mum's house in Highbury Fields. I always wanted to be in the band, but they always kept me on the periphery, a bit like the way the Rolling Stones treated Billy Preston.

Anyways, at that time we were all really into the then newly-formed Queens Of The Stone Age. OK yeah, I know, now they're fat, rich rockstar dudes with boring songs. But back in 1998 - I'm talking way back, before their eponymously-titled debut album had even come out - Queens were amazingatronic.

Their first ever UK show took place at the Highbury Garage on November 3 1998. Fruit Cocktail went along to the venue before the gig, befriended the band, and somehow managed to convince Josh Homme to play guitar on one of their songs. Jamie-James, who has a knack for this sort of thing, went back to the band's tour bus with Josh, who then overdubbed a solo on a little 4-track recorder. A decade later and the song still sounds rad. Homme's robotic arpeggios are way better than anything he's done recently. Oh yeah, Zain's vocals are in Bengali. What he's singing does not actually makes any sense though. Just jibba jabba. Still incredible though.

"Seraseri" - taken from Fruit Cocktail's third record In the House of Disco Duck



* Josh Homme was just one of many musicians who recorded with Fruit Cocktail. They also somehow enticed Mike Patton, Buzz and Dale from The Melvins, Tim from Rancid, and Ben Kweller to come around to their mum's house and record in the little rehearsal space/studio in the basement. Look out for a new Fruit Cocktail album, The Sound of Victory, out in 2009.


PEACE